Tag Archive | Glee

Music of the Night

Softly, deftly music shall caress you

Hear it, feel it secretly possess you,

Open up your mind,

Let your fantasies unwind

In this darkness that you know you cannot fight,

The darkness of the music of the night.

So often I feel that life and living is simply a run.  It’s a run from the time you’re expelled from a womb to the time when you decay and die.  To get from A to Z you have to run, whether you choose to run towards death or away from it.  The irony is that I am as bad at running as I am at life.  Somewhere, sometime before my brain and heart broke, I couldn’t keep up with life’s pace and I slowed down, then stopped altogether.  Now, whether a hurdle tripped me up or I wasn’t fit enough or I ultimately decided I would not run, I got left behind.  Life, the living and all that encompasses left me behind.  Others who fall and fail and struggle through life, who cannot keep pace with the run of life, are tugged along by the other runners in the race, those who knew them, loved them – who would miss them – and saw them fall.  Nobody saw me fall.  Nobody looked back at me lying in their wake.  Nobody realised I was no longer in the race.  Someone had already won and I had already come last in that instant.  Now, I’m up and I am walking.  I am walking but nothing I, or anyone else, can do now will lessen the distance between myself and those ahead of me who might have knelt down and given succour.  So, when humankind forgets you are part of it and is complicit in your survival or lack of it, to whom or what do you turn so that you can keep walking towards death and find an end to the journey?  What is it that keeps you company on your long, dark, solitary odyssey that your life is to you with a broken brain and a broken heart?  The caress and possession of your mind, heart and body by music, the sweetest and darkest music that lets the burning in your muscles dwindle and is the balm to the crushing weight of the world’s dismissal and apathy of you on your shoulders.  Music is the door from this world where Pippa trudges to Calvary alone, no longer able to run with life, to the sacred world where Lucrezia and Cordelia sing with angels and thrive away from the great race in the night no longer “dark and full of terrors”.

My extended metaphor aside, I want to write about music today, seeing as I’ve been crying (inexplicably, I might add!) through three episodes from season 2 of Glee!  It was nothing in the show particularly that elicited such a visceral response from me but it’s a show that, despite being cliched, unbearably American and full of unrealistic teen drama (even from the adults), is about music and the joys of music healing people and bringing them together with other people, who would have left them behind or never known them and made a difference in their lives.  Can you see how this fits in with my metaphor dragged out above?  Just in case I’ve been too cryptic, I’ll spell it out: it’s a show about people falling, failing and fumbling their way through life but more than that, it’s a TV show about others picking you up and being aware that you matter, especially in the episodes aired in the aftermath of Cory Monteith’s tragic passing.

Anyway, back to music!

The first tunes I remember and the first moments of insurmountable joy I experienced during a melody were those of Andrew Lloyd-Webber’s composition.  I used to adore musicals and Kid’s Week in London was the highlight of my year.  Now, I find them just adaptations of better works and overly sentimental romances, but Andrew Lloyd-Webber’s works still hit a resounding note with me, despite the fact that I listen to them less and less.  Just to give you a rundown, of all his musicals, I have seen (though, even where I haven’t seen the show, I know of the songs, e.g. I have never seen Song and Dance but I have sung Tell Me On a Sunday):

  • Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (1968)
    • NB. also my first exposure to Donny Osmond, whom I love also!
  • Jesus Christ Superstar (1970)
    • At Chigwell School, this was one of the shows and I played trumpet in the orchestra
  • Evita (1976)
  • Cats (1981)
  • The Phantom of the Opera (1986)
    • I believe, other than the Joel Schumacher film, I have seen the show in London’s West End over ten times
  • Whistle Down the Wind (1996)
  • Bombay Dreams (2002)
  • Love Never Dies (2010)
    • NB. I saw this twice and the original ending (SPOILERS!) was that Christine dies and Gustave resides with his natural father, the Phantom, after losing his mother and I LOVED THAT!  Then, after a cast change and alteration to the musical, I saw it again and the ending was changed so that Raoul returns after leaving his wife and “son” and the Phantom lets Gustave return to the father he knew rather than stay with the father he knew no and I HATED IT

I have also seen all of the BBC 1 talent show-auditions for Andrew Lloyd-Webber productions and adored them, but I’m getting sidetracked by a delineation of the history of my fanatical following of Lloyd-Webber.  I’ll get back to proper writing now!

For my third form prom, I sang The Music of the Night from The Phantom of the Opera and for the reason that it speaks of how music brings a lonely, scarred, incomplete man love, a vocation and a life, I have never found another song to replace it in my heart.  Those lyrics that opened this article are words I long to sing and love to recall when nothing but music for a while (kudos to any music lovers who get that reference!) can soothe my achy, breaky heart.  (I am on fire with these references!).

The lyrics of the entire song are about transcending out of this banal and brutal world to one where fantasies can come to life and you can be who you are, not who you appear to be.  That is my life, through television, through film, through whatever I can find.  My need is to leave Pippa behind and become someone else who can feel love and give love in a world that is not going to find pitchforks and cages with which to punish me for being ugly, for being evil, for being a monster.  For, that is what you become when you fall and the run of life leaves you behind because no one living, who runs away from death and towards life itself, remembered to look for you or reach for your hand to save you, who are forced to begin the long march to death.  You become a monster and a beast with no salvation other than that you search and yearn for beyond this life and away from this earth that has forsaken you.

reaching-out-300x196LaBellaBorgia Speaks,

P. Mistry-Norman

28-06-2015

 

Contemplating Single Motherhood

As listing makes me feel better and calms me down exponentially, but I keep running out of novel things to list because I have to do it so much, I tried to find something valid and interesting to make a list of and stumbled onto the topic of single mothers.  Now, I have said before that I have no doubt that I will be a single mother by choice because I need children but cannot bear to envision a life with another adult.  However, it got me to thinking, seeing as this blog is about the media and how it can help and hinder a medium mind like mine, about how many single mothers appear and have extremely positive roles in television.  Now, you may observe that there are some controversial additions to this list of positively characterised single mothers, for example, Ellis Grey and Lettie Mae Thornton, but to me even they are good examples of mothers.  This is simply because they did their best.  They may have succumbed to obsessive working and alcoholism respectively, and throughout the TV series that feature their characters their daughters hate their mothers, but even characters whom the audience is supposed to view as villains are redeemed by the realisation of their children (though sometimes it comes all the way in season 11) that their mothers worked with what they had and did their best in the given circumstances.  There are times when I empathise heavily with Meredith or Tara Mae, both scarred and having died and attempted suicide by life, but knowing my luck my life will pan out quite like a TV show and it won’t be until the last season that my mother and I call a ceasefire.  Either that, or one of us will end up killing the other…

IMG_1687

Anyway, this post was meant to be cheerier than the last one and here I am talking about homicidal tendencies!  So, I present to you the – by no means exhaustive – list of single mothers that I consider to be good examples of both the triumphs and mistakes of single motherhood on television.

The Single Mothers of TV

  • Martha Rodgers (Castle)
  • Shelby Corcoran (Glee)
  • Jackie Tyler (Doctor Who)
  • Ellis Grey (Grey’s Anatomy)
  • Shirley Bennett (Community)
  • Vala Mal Doran (Stargate SG-1)
  • Patty Halliwell (Charmed)
  • Liz Forbes (Vampire Diaries)
  • Lettie Mae Thornton (True Blood)
  • Catherine Bordey (Death in Paradise)
  • Carrie Mathison (Homeland)
  • Rachel Green (Friends)
  • Edith Crawley (Downton Abbey)
  • Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time)
  • Eleanor Waldorf (Gossip Girl)
  • Norma Bates (Bates Motel)
  • Joyce Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
  • Darla (Angel)
  • Claire Littleton (LOST)
  • Karen Roe (One Tree Hill)
  • Vy Smith (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)

LaBellaBorgia Speaks,

P. Mistry-Norman

04-03-2015

Pride

I was bored as the most immense and beautiful storm pounded Essex overnight and I wondered if I could think of twenty-five of the most impressive, realistic and important portrayals of LGBTQ characters from the gold and silver screens.  I did!  There are more from TV than film and this is only from films and shows I have watched, so don’t expect a perfect list by any means…they’re just my opinions from the media I’ve experienced.   Hope you find it interesting and a varied list!


  1. Brian Kinney (Gale Harold) in Queer as Folk 
  2. Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer) in Glee 
  3. Calliope Torres (Sara Ramirez) in Grey’s Anatomy
  4. Lafayette Reynolds (Nelsan Ellis) in True Blood
  5. Barca (Antonio Te Maioho) in Spartacus: Blood and Sand
  6. Emmett Honeycutt (Peter Paige) in Queer as Folk
  7. Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) in Brokeback Mountain
  8. Willow Rosenberg (Alyson Hannigan) in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  9. Santana Lopez (Naya Rivera) in Glee
  10. Agron (Daniel Feuerriegel) in Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Spartacus: Vengeance & Spartacus: War of the Damned.
  11. Russell Edgington (Denis O’Hare) in True Blood
  12. Ianto Jones (Gareth David-Lloyd) in Torchwood
  13. Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) in Torchwood
  14. Justin Taylor (Randy Harrison) in Queer as Folk
  15. Nasir (Pana Hema Taylor) in Spartacus: Vengeance & Spartacus: War of the Damned.
  16. Hephaistion (Jared Leto) in Alexander
  17. Ennis del Mar (Heath Ledger) in Brokeback Mountain
  18. Tara Thornton (Rutina Wesley) in True Blood
  19. Blaine Anderson (Darren Criss) in Glee
  20. Loras Tyrell (Finn Jones) in Game of Thrones
  21. Craig Pelton (Jim Rash) in Community
  22. Arizona Robbins (Jessica Capshaw) in Grey’s Anatomy
  23. Renly Baratheon (Gethin Anthony) in Game of Thrones
  24. Thomas Barrow (Rob James-Collier) in Downton Abbey
  25. Melanie Marcus (Michelle Clunie) in Queer as Folk
  26. Brittany Pierce (Heather Morris) in Glee
  27. Tara Maclay (Amber Benson) in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  28. Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith) in Grey’s Anatomy
  29. Pietros (Eka Darville) in Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

Please comment any shows/movies/characters that you believe should have been included as I am always on the lookout for good LGBTQ themed and integrated media.


Farewell once more.

LaBellaBorgia Speaks,

P. Mistry-Norman

18-07-2014

Cyberme

You can tell I’m back in Essex now because I’m posting a lot more.  I’ve only been back in the county for just over a week and today is my mother’s first full day back after going abroad and already I’m asking my father to bring back a bag of ice cubes (something I’m told you should squeeze when you’re thinking of self-harm or suicide to take away the lack of feeling or desire to cut).  True to form today had the potential to be one of the best days ever as I got my 2nd year results today and achieved a surprising 2.1 but I was so elated at that that the universe saw me enjoying my life too much and too hopeful for the future and decided to crash a train into me at full speed.

As of 21:15, I have had 29 people like the status announcing my exam results and 9 comments saying “congratulations” and the like on Facebook.  The icing on the cake was an email from the best personal tutor in the world saying how delighted she was that I’ve

“battled through and come out the other side with such good results.”

I am amazed at my results and I know I don’t deserve them but I did work hard enough and tried my best to know that I don’t deserve the emotional and verbal overhaul that my mother has just dealt me.  I really do hate coming back to Essex for this reason, because coming back to this awful house and my family always means that pain and suffering and endless, unfailing abasement.  I can feel one hundred feet tall (despite not even being 5!) and larger than life itself when I walk in the door but it takes so little time and effort on my mother’s part – she’s actually perfected it into a natural talent – to turn me from a semi-confident, intelligent, compassionate, twenty-one year old Devonshire lass into a weepy, small, weak infantile girl who doesn’t know what she’s done wrong and can’t understand why the mother who she really loves so much continues to douse any flame of happiness that casts a faint glow in an otherwise monochrome existence.  I can’t often leave my flat and I don’t find engaging with people easy so I live – not exist – mostly online, in a cyberutopia and in my medium mind where people are not people because there, people are perpetually nice to me.

It actually makes me wonder if one day people will discover how to upload the human consciousness into the net and bodies will just die.  I often perceive my body as a dead thing that is inanimate and unaffected by the world.  It is corporeal forms that open us up to hurt.  Imagine it, if we all existed in a purely digital world where the minute someone hurts you or abuses you, you block them or report them to The Elders of the Internet (Thank you, IT Crowd and Graham Linehan), which leads to them being deleted or restored to factory settings.  I’d like to be restored to factory settings and taken far away to begin life again…that would be the best gift in the world, it’s just a shame no one has the power to give it.  If only genies existed…

Anyway as I’m writing this I am in my bed, crying and listening to my Love Songs/Ballads playlist on iTunes which I do when I need to reacquaint my mind with my body so that both can feel something again after being dragged through a field of barbed wires.  I’m now focusing on the earlier hours of today when I was so happy and felt well in myself to try and get some restful sleep and have no nightmares.

Now, for your perusing pleasure, I enclose the list of songs in the aforementioned playlist for you to get an idea/inspiration of songs that I rely on when I’m tired of not feeling and feeling unloved and pointless in this world.

  • Falling Slowly    Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
  • Don’t Go Breaking My Heart        Elton John           Blanche & Orson              Jackie
  • Haven’t Met You Yet       Michael Buble
  • Song for the Waiting      Aron Wright
  • Till I Hear You Sing          Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • Once Upon Another Time            Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • Look With Your Heart     Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • Beneath a Moonless Sky              Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • Love Never Dies               Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • Universe & U     KT Tunstall
  • Since You’ve Been Gone               Rainbow
  • Wait      Get Set Go
  • Grace    Kate Havnevik
  • Please Stay         Duffy
  • Someone Else’s Story (Live)        Kerry Ellis
  • Everything I Own             Vanessa Hudgens & I Can’t Go On, I’ll Go On
  • Breathe (2 AM) Anna Nalick
  • Hiding My Heart               Adele
  • Don’t Marry Her                The Beautiful South
  • Feel This (feat. Enation)               Bethany Joy Galeotti
  • Fix You Coldplay
  • Someone to Fall Back On             Aly Michalka & I Can’t Go On, I’ll Go On
  • Three Times a Lady (Single Version)       The Commodores
  • You’re Beautiful               James Blunt
  • Just the Way You Are     Bruno Mars
  • Unanswered Prayers      Deja Vu
  • If Tomorrow Never Comes          Deja Vu
  • Like a Virgin (feat. Jonathan Groff)          Glee Cast
  • I’m Yours             Jason Mraz
  • Because of You Kelly Clarkson
  • She’s Always a Woman Billy Joel
  • Call Me Maybe  Carly Rae Jepsen
  • The Story             Sara Ramirez
  • Kiss It Better      He Is We
  • (You’re) Having My Baby              Glee Cast
  • Crazy People     The Wreckers
  • Stand Still, Look Pretty  The Wreckers
  • Wish You Were Kate Voegele
  • Kiss Me Sixpence None the Richer
  • Blue Moon          Cliff Richard
  • I Won’t Say (I’m In Love)               Cheryl Freeman, LaChanze, Lillias White, Susan Egan & Vaneese Thomas
  • Sweet Caroline Neil Diamond
  • Sweet About Me              Gabriella Cilmi
  • Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered   Richard Sisson & Samuel Barnett
  • Time After Time               Cyndi Lauper
  • You Are the Sunshine of My Life (Glee Cast Version)      Glee Cast
  • Suspicious Minds             Elvis Presley
  • (You’re) Timeless to Me               Christopher Walken & John Travolta
  • Plaisir d’amour (Album Version)              Charlotte Church
  • My Funny Valentine       Ella Fitzgerald
  • I’ll Stand By You                Pretenders
  • The Perfect Year              Dina Carroll
  • I Got You Babe  Sonny & Cher
  • Anyone Else But You      Michael Cera & Ellen Page
  • Mercy   Duffy
  • Surrender           Patti LuPone
  • Send In The Clowns        Michael Ball
  • Please (feat. Bethany Joy Lenz)
  • S.O.S.    Hilton McRae & Siobhan McCarthy          Benny Andersson, Bjorn Ulvaeus & Stig Anderson
  • Love Is a Many Splendored Thing             The Four Aces & Al Alberts          Sammy Fain & Paul Francis Webster
  • Love Is In the Air              Rupert Everett & Colin Firth
  • Amarilli, Mia Bella          Aled Jones
  • Love Changes Everything             Teatro
  • Nothing Compares 2 U  All Angels
  • Ángels (Edit)      All Angels
  • Total Eclipse of the Heart             Jill Andrews
  • Total Eclipse of the Heart (Glee Cast Version) [feat. Jonathan Groff]       Glee Cast
  • Mandy  Donny Osmond
  • Bring Me To Life               Evanescence
  • Love Hurts          Gram Parsons
  • It’s a Heartache Rod Stewart
  • The Bridge          Shaun Johnston & Amber Marshall
  • Everybody Hurts              The Corrs
  • 10 / 10   Paolo Nutini
  • Please Do Not Go            Violent Femmes
  • When the Stars Go Blue                Tyler Hilton & Bethany Joy Lenz
  • I Know Him So Well (feat. Emma Bunton)            Melanie C.
  • Every Breath You Take   The Police
  • Man Like Me      Robert Downey Jr.
  • I’m Yours                             Jason Mraz
  • Gravity Sara Bareilles
  • Love Theme       Lisbeth Scott
  • Leaving On a Jet Plane (Glee Cast Version)          Matthew Morrison
  • Make You Feel My Love                Adele
  • Calm After the Storm (Eurovision 2014 – The Netherlands)The Common Linnets
  • Next to Me         Emeli Sande
  • Your Song            Ellie Goulding
  • Never Can Say Goodbye               Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • Saving All My Love For You          Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • Seasons of Love               Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • Take My Breath Away    Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • You Keep Me Hangin’ On              Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • Homeward Bound/Home             Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • I can’t go for that/You make my dreams                Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • I Don’t Want To Know    Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • Just Give Me A Reason  Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • Love Song           Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • Lucky     Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • Marry You           Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • We’ve Got Tonight          Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • Cherish/Cherish               Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee
  • (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life   Dianna Agron & the Cast of Glee

 

LaBellaBorgia Speaks,

P.Mistry-Norman

16-06-2014